tubamaba? obomaboe? saxomaphone?

One of the most fun, and also most harrowing weeks of my year has just passed. 4th grade teachers and parents dread it. Music staff block it out of their memories. 4th graders themselves cannot sleep with sheer anxiety, thinking of what's to come.
5TH GRADE BAND RECRUITMENT! dun dun dun...

Here's a general script of what I did roughly 175 times last week.

Me: (grinning with enthusiasm) Hi Billy, I'm Mrs. Moore, the band director. I hear you want to try some band instruments!
Billy: (shyly, yet mischievously grinning back) Uh-huh!
(we take a seat in front of a table covered in dozens of shiny new instruments)
Me: (looking over Billy's information card) I see you played the guitar for two months. Was that recently?
Billy: (glancing at mom) Not really.
Me: (smile turning more plasticy by the second) But you want to play drums or saxophone. And you don't have any piano experience. Would you like to try any other instruments while you're here...maybe the baritone or tuba???
Billy: Not really.
Me: (eyes getting wider to add emphasis) You know we don't really have a drum section--in band we have a percussion section--and percussion and saxophone are the most competitive sections in the whole band. You might want to think about trumpet or clarinet while you're here--we can never have too many of those! You could also try some string instruments--there's always room in the orchestra!
Billy: (shaking head) Nah.
Me: Okay, let's start with the bells, then the clarinet, and we can branch out from there if you want.
Billy: Uh, okay.
Me: (pointing at the song "Hot Cross Buns" on the music stand in front of the bells) So Billy, do you know what note this song starts on?
Billy: Uuuuuuuuuuh...an A?
Me: Close--it's a D.
Billy: Oh yeah, a D.
Me: You know the tune "Hot Cross Buns", right? Can you play this for me? I'll show you the first three notes.
Billy: Okay. (he plays the first three notes I showed him and stops)
Me: Remember Billy, you have two instruments to practice in the 5th grade percussion section, so you have to practice every song twice! And do you really love that high-pitched ringing sound from the bells?
Billy: (shrugging) Yeah, it's okay.
Me: Right, keep that in mind then, and we'll go try the clarinet. (eyes discretely rolling as we walk back to the table)
The clarinet is kind of like the recorder you play in general music class, and it's the gateway instrument of the woodwind section, so if you like this at all, it's a much better instrument to start on than the saxophone. I've even set it up right now so you can just make the sound and I'll work the keys.
(Billy makes a nice sound, and I play a fast scale pattern that sounds truly impressive to the average 4th grader's parent)
(smile back in full force) Wow Billy--that sounded amazing!
Billy: (sitting back with satisfied smile) Yeah, thanks.
Me: Should we try the trumpet next?
Billy: Okay, but what about the saxophone?
Me: Let's try the trumpet.
Here's how you buzz on the mouthpiece to make a sound on a brass instrument. (quick demo)
Now you try it, Billy.
Billy: (attempts buzzing, but looks more like he's trying to send steam out his ears. laughing now, he says...) I can't do it.
Me: Sure you can, Billy, it'll just take a minute.
Billy: It's hard, can I try the saxophone now?
Me: Okay Billy, let me get one. (secretly looking for the one with the most destroyed reed)
Now blow really hard on this one--like you're blowing out your birthday candles.
Billy: (turning red in the face and making a loud, uncontrolled honking sound, much like a goose) Wow, that's cool--I LIKE it!
Billy's Mom: (finally getting off the phone) Do you want to try the French Horn, Billy? I love that one.
Billy: Nah. I like saxophone.
Me: (in desperation now) Do you want to try anything else?
Billy: No. I want saxophone. That's cool!
Me: (searching for understanding in mom's face) And it's okay with your mom?
Billy's mom: (looking right past me to Billy) Sure honey, it's your decision, whatever you want!
Me: Oh goody, welcome to band!

Okay, obviously that scenario didn't happen every time (though it seemed at times that I would never get a tuba player), but it's not that far from the truth. I love recruitment because I get to help students pick something that engages them in an aesthetic education in a completely new way for most of them. It is thrilling and rewarding. But it is also stressful and exhausting. My colleagues and I worked twelve hour days all week to get every interested 4th grader in, and I still had 17 voicemails this morning from parents who "hadn't made it to try instruments--when can you fit us in?" Right, I do actually teach most days. And with spring concerts only four rehearsals away, panic is not far off either. I just keep reminding myself how lucky I am to have a job that still excites me. That makes me feel like I am doing something worthwhile. That makes me feel that I am worthwhile. I am so fortunate. And though I joke about the students, I owe so much to them. I have always wanted to be a teacher--to share something I can do with others. To continue learning. To make connections. And I am inspired by my students to do those things every day. Now, if I could just get some of those saxophones to switch to tuba!